I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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