IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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