sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
