ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
