Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
vagina is talking i cant
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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