I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
