I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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