your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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