he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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