last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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