no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry about my life...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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