I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
