Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
