My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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