I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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