so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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