The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
