I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The power of my boobs compel you
Drunk is not a location!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
