My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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