he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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You brought string cheese to the strip club
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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