someone get that fucking seahorse.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
