Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
im holly from the hills drunk
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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