i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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