operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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