Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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