Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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