Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
