He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
