Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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