turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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