why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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