Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
