Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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