going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
