he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize