I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Two words: blizzard sex
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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