some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
