What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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