Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
