You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
