You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
