come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There's always time for handjobs
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
