VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
