I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
