96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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