Ambien. No doubt about it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
