the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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