Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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