how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
