Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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