It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
