i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
