ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
