I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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