he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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