He kissed a someone with a penis
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
