Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
