it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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