i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
