Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
