Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
