Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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