She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
