My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize