this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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