In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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