Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
